The Life and Times of a Thunderbolt Kid

Trivial Matters

2010-12-06T23:37:00.000Z

So not blogging for near to 3 months is, it turns out, quite problematic. The more you leave it, the more difficult it is to do. Kind of like pre-meditated murder. I'd imagine. In Paris, there were bloggable things, people, places and days left, right and centre, but somehow I never blogged. And then there was an incident and there was orangina and there was my keyboard and it was all very traumatic and from then on I couldn't blog even if I wanted to (and had to use the infuriating on-screen keyboard until I got home grr!). So since then, my brain coped with this missing output of thoughts by tacking up an internal list of future blog posts: there were Paris posts, both on things in Paris and on living away from home; posts on family, on friendship; the political rant; the film reviews; there was the returning home post; the gap year post; the Deathly Hallows post etc etc etc. But none of these were ever written and the list in my head got too wild to manage so here we are at the awkward - Hello! Long time! Where the heck to start?!

The other problem with not posting in so long, aside from having so much to catch up on, is the pressure for your first returning post to be about something worthwhile. Which is why I think I'm going to pick something trivial and ignore any substantial life stuff. Yes, my reaction to pressure is to run and hide from it. Hopefully, if I can return to regular blogging I'll get to that stuff eventually and work through some of the things in that list.

So, my trivial post. What to discuss? I think I know what this calls for. BULLETPOINTS!! Hell yeah, I'm doing it, a bulletpointed list of thoughts and occurances from whatever is in my mind right now. Hey ho let's go.

I bought some fairy lights from the pound shop today and I don't know what it is about a single set of fairy lights but they manage to transform a regular bedroom into a haven of magic and every time I glimpse at them I feel happy.

I watched Meet Me in St. Louis yesterday, a musical made in 1944 starring Judy Garland and set in 1903/4. I find a number of 'old films' pretty boring, and although like to have seen them for how they influenced the films that have followed, and because a lot are just iconic and crop up regularly on various 'films to see before you die' lists, I often find myself restless and bored watching them (That being said, I love Gone With The Wind). Anyway, this was not the case with Meet Me in St. Louis, which I found adorable and wonderful and I don't even use the word wonderful. I've never disputed the talent of Judy Garland, but it wasn't till watching this that I felt that sense of her being something special and unique and realised why she made such an impression on so many.

Afterwards, I went off on a little internet journey watching interviews with her daughters Liza Minnelli and Lorna Luft about their family and sister relationship (very sweet and close, by the way). When Lorna took her young daughter to New York and Gay Pride was on, her daughter asked her what the flags were for, and she told her it was for gay pride, and the daughter asked why it was a rainbow, and Lorna was able to answer her daughter's question with "It's a rainbow for your grandmother". How lovely and strange is that?! Another story is that Lorna, not knowing how to explain it to young children, didn't tell her children how their grandmother had died. One day Lorna got a phone call from her husband saying how distressed their son was, as he'd been playing a game of trivial pursuit and the question that came up had been 'Which movie star died of a drugs overdose in London?'. It's just so weird, imagine finding something out about your own family that way, and that millions of people in the world already knew. Blows my miiiiiind!

I got the top of my right ear pierced a couple of days ago, with a little silver ring. Have always wanted that spot pierced; I always fiddle with my ear there and it's nice to have something to play with. I really like it. It's sore when I touch it though and getting it done hurt a helluvalot.

I watched Bambi. His mama still dies. Stupid 'Man'.

Ding Dong Merrily On High

I like lists.

2010-10-09T23:21:00.002+01:00

Attemped to put together a list of bands/artists I've seen. Didn't really include support bands/bands of people I know/random bands that play on the street sort of thing, stuck to the well-known names on the whole. Anyway, I just wrote it for me as a record, and so I can add to it in the future, but I thought I may as well publish it here.

So many amazing memories from these concerts; so many epic nights. The ones that absolutely stand out as the most freaking out-of-this-world, there-aren't-enough-epic-words-to-describe concerts have to be The Spice Girls, The Prodigy and The Killers.

1.       Akala
2.       All-American Rejects
3.       Bloc Party
4.       Bluey Robinson
5.       Britney Spears
6.       Busta Rhymes
7.       Chipmunk
8.       CSS
9.       Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip
10.   Dizzee Rascal
11.   Eric Clapton
12.   Example
13.   Faithless
14.   Feeder
15.   Florence and the Machine
16.   Friendly Fires
17.   Greg Holden
18.   J. Cole
19.   Jason Derülo
20.   Jay Sean
21.   Jay-Z
22.   JME
23.   John Legend
24.   Johnny Flynn
25.   Josh Weller
26.   Kanye West
27.   Kings of Leon
28.   Lethal B
29.   Lily Allen
30.   Ludacris
31.   Madness
32.   Mark Ronson & The Business Intl
33.   Mcfly
34.   Mr. Hudson
35.   Mumford and Sons
36.   Mumm-ra
37.   My Passion
38.   N.E.R.D.
39.   Natty
40.   Paloma Faith
41.   Paolo Nutini
42.   Passion Pit
43.   Pendulum
44.   Plain White Ts
45.   Plan B
46.   Santogold
47.   Scouting for Girls
48.   Sexion D’Assault
49.   Skepta
50.   Slash
51.   Tenacious D
52.   The Automatic
53.   The Coral
54.   The Enemy
55.   The Fratellis
56.   The Horrors
57.   The Hours
58.   The Killers
59.   The Kooks
60.   The Last Shadow Puppets
61.   The Mystery Jets
62.   The Noisettes
63.   The Pretty Reckless
64.   The Prodigy
65.   The Raconteurs
66.   The Spice Girls
67.   The Subways
68.   The Ting Tings
69.   The View
70.   Tinie Tempah
71.   Tiny Dancers
72.   Tynchy Stryder
73.   V.V. Brown
74.   Wiley

2010-09-26T01:01:00.006+01:00

Haven’t been great at keeping up with this recently, I have however, been trying my hand at ‘vlogging’ on a collab channel with some school friends. I don’t know exactly how the idea for doing one came about, but it cumulated over multiple drunken conversations over the summer and here we are now, actually doing one!

Paris was interesting today. We were at Les Puces - a huge, famous flea market in Paris. The area is jam packed with people trying to make their livings in all sorts of ways. Surrounding the metro station are women uttering "Maïs? Maïs?" as they try to sell you corn on the cobs, doing so in such a sly and intense manner that if you had no idea what sweetcorn was you'd assume it was some sort of drug. And the stalls cover everything, I don't reckon there's an item you could name that you couldn't find somewhere among the rubble at Les Puces [Please do not take this challenge literally. Okay, fine, you probably can't get nuclear weapons or lifesize submarines.].

For lunch (despite it being 5pm) we decided to be adventuorous and headed into this small Taiwanese restaurant. Despite being a little bit concerned that there was a large dog strolling about (walking out of the kitchen, past us, just outside to pee on the restaurant's board before coming back in) we ate 3 delicious, filling courses for €7.50 (chicken spring rolls and an unknown but good sauce first; rice, beef curry and more delicious yet unknown things and then lychee for dessert). We were very intrigued by the couple that ran the restaurant and wanted to know a bit more, fortunately the woman was very friendly (to us at least, I hasten to add) and we got into an interesting conversation (in French! Yay!) about the fact they'd moved to France 20 years ago now, and about what their grown up children are up to etc. Then out of nowhere occurs the racism. And we are taken aback but do the standard 'change the topic awkwardly, pretend she didn't say anything, then think back later about how you should have challenged her or asked more about why she feels that way, even if it's in broken French' reaction.

I don't know, it was just funny that we'd sat down talking about how we were surprised with the levels of multiculturism in Paris (the very street we were on had Caribbean food, Asian food, North African food, French food) and then, what I kind of realised, is that having different cultures in one place doesn't automatically create this multicultural ideal of a mixed community of shared culture. In fact, sometimes it breeds the opposite, like in this case, with one community of immigrants speaking badly of another.

It also just hit home the fact that people are never just one thing or the other, good or bad, nice or not. A part of me feels that when somebody says something you don't like, such as the lady today's racist attitude, you're expected to just dismiss them, hate them, write them off. When in reality, she had been sweet, smiley and very welcoming to us. But then she'd also said something I can't sympathise with and expressed an attitude I can't understand.

I guess that's because people will always look at things with different viewpoints; viewpoints formed from different experiences, based on different stereotypes and because of different values. I've spent my life around people who, while we might debate and disagree over more specific things, on the whole share a lot of my values. Most of my friends live in London, one of the most diverse cities in the world, most went to the same multiculturally integrated comprehensive school I did, were raised in families who share a lot of the same principles as mine.

But as I venture further away than this, I'm bound to meet more and more people who I can't just assume share these things. I find that both challenging and interesting, as well as a little bit hard to get my head around.

There's something about Paris...

2010-09-12T00:52:00.000+01:00

There’s no way to write this without coming across as a bit of a dick. But there’s something about being here in Paris that seems to appeal to every creative bone in my body. Everything here just feels inspiring. I don’t know if it’s the city, or it’s just being young and free and away. I don’t know what it is I want to do, but I know I want to do it passionately and pour everything into it. I’ve been taking photographs and reading amazing books and wanting to discuss ideas, and writing, and I am listening to music like ‘Volare’ because it’s beautiful, I keep hearing it played by buskers on the street and the metro. The musician I spoke to on the first day here told me he wakes up every day in Paris and can write a new song. The lady next to me when I was reading in front of the Notre Dame said that ‘it must be a pretty inspiring place to read’. So I guess it’s not just me? Ah I just feel so pretentious feeling it, such a typical young person full of ideas and fervour and creativity and optimism, out in Paris, like so many young people were before me.

I’ll probably just go watch some Jersey Shore now... numb all creativity and pretentions and feed my brain with joyous crap! Maybe next time I’ll blog it’ll be a poem ;)

Tash went to the park.

2010-09-11T00:40:00.002+01:00

I enjoyed this afternoon so much and I'm not even sure why. I bade Beth a bleary eyed goodbye from my bed this morning, and then it was just me and Paris. I decided I wanted to check out Bois de Vincennes because it's literally a five minute walk away from our flat and I hadn't been there yet. I was a little bit nervous before I went out, which was weird, essentially I was going for a walk in a park. I loved the park/wood ridiculous amounts. It was almost like a hybrid of all the parks I know, with a boating lake just like Regents Park, mini paths like Central Park, open spaces that looked like Hyde Park, and the size reminding me of Hampstead Heath. It felt so exhilirating exploring a new place all by myself. I saw my 'spot' from the other side of the lake and made a long-winded mission to reach it. I have an obscure love for willow trees... it's possibly Pocahontas related... and I sat and lay on the river bank, right next to a willow tree, reading, dozing, people-watching and marvelling over the park, for quite a while. The cutest old couple rowed past and I wanted to row them home with me and keep them forever.

It was so hot today too, and I was dressed way too warmly cause in our flat there's NO indication over what the weather's like. And it is waaaay too much trouble to go all the way down to find out, so guesswork it is! After leaving my spot, I went for a walk around. There were all sorts of different people around and there was so much going on in the park, I stumbled across cool thing after cool thing. A wedding party. An Indian festival being set up. A proper stalactite-y cave that cropped up out of nowhere. There's also stuff I saw on the map but didn't come across, like a zoo, a palace and Buddhist monuments. What a cool place!

I felt so free and content and worldly. I was in such a good mood coming home. I bought myself 4 peaches (which turned out to be the juciest mother-fuckers in the world, so scrumpcious.) to make sure I still had human-interaction. Nah it was for the fruit, and for the using up of change, human-interaction is what skype's for!

Anyway, I just wanted to talk about my lovely day IS THAT O-FREAKING-K WITH YOU?! JHEEZ! and to tell ya to go to Bois de Vincennes if you're ever in Paris and y'know, you want to... I was also happy because aside from the peaches, I spent no money today and I've been needing to curb spending. Aside from Vincennes, I spent today watching Jersey Shore. For some freak reason I'd never seen an episode before this week and now I am becoming a hard core follower at a dangerous speed. Oh the lols it brings!

One thing I learnt today is that I need to start carrying a lighter, it's such a perfect conversation starter. I missed out today when I had to say 'non pardon'! Damn!

Paris Ponderings (Eeew could I have a more pretentious title?!)

2010-09-10T00:37:00.000+01:00

Yo yo.

Soz I haven't been blogging. I want to blog more because I really wanna be able to look back on this and have a way to remember it all. Soooo I'll try!

Today we made our first of many pilgrimages to Disneyland. It. was. amazing. I've been to Disneyland Paris twice before, once on a big extended family trip when I was younger in order to celebrate my grandpa's 70th or something (cause you're never too old for the magic guys!) and once on a FUN school trip to Paris in year 7. So today was a perfect mix of childhood nostalgia and exciting new thrills and discovery - as I had some vague memories but there were lots of new things too. That may have made no sense, sorry, not really with it and UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOURS ARE POTTERING DISTRACTINGLY ABOUT (I'm clearly still bitter from receiving noise complaints the other day.*).

I didn't expect so many genuinely good/thrilling rides at Disneyland, but there were so many. It is also just hands down the most magical place on earth. We walked around at 18 years old with either one of two expressions: our jaws hung open in wonderment, or a gigantic grin plastered across our faces - that specific teeth-baring grin that only Disney can bring out of you. Oh, and I want to be a princess asap.

Aside from experiencing the pure distilled happiness of Disneyland, we've had friends to visit. We were joined by Katty, Freya, Ed, Lauren and Speechley from Saturday till Wednesday. What we got up to is all a bit of a blur now, but here is some of what I remember. On Saturday, we collected Kat, Freya and Ed, whisked them back to the flat, and then went for a wander, the highlights of which included a lunch of croque monsieurs; throwing eggs at a guy on his 'stag do', which was a guy who 'just really liked eggs' dressed in a body suit, wandering around a park with two friends and asking people to chuck eggs at him; walking (and singing) along the Seine and sitting on a bridge with slush puppies listening to three musicians from Tennessee.

That evening, we went over to Katty's auntie’s stunning flat and joined Katty’s cousin (for her birthday) and boyfriend as well as Lauren and Speechley. After party hats and celebrations, we went out to a medical themed bar, which was equally bizarre and brilliant. Cocktails came in baby bottles and shots were served in test tubes. The walls were full of x-rays and the glass tables filled with surgical equipment and body parts.

The next evening was actually beautiful, spent sitting in a crowd on the steps outside the Sacre-Coeur as it got dark, armed with fizzy wine and entertained by a guitar playing singer Youri as we looked out over a stunning view of the entire city. In fact, we heckled Youri for the songs we wanted so raucously that he agreed he would play them if we got up at the front and danced. We didn't need to be told twice and humiliated ourselves by dancing to an entire medley of songs that Youri chose so spot on - I think it went Katy Perry, The Killers, Britney, The Spice Girls.....is he psychic?! The epic-ness didn't even end there, because when it was over we demanded his guitar and Lauren played the crowd while we all sang. I don't think they were particularly enthused by our Justin Bieber serenading, but we did get two 'fans'. And we can officially say that we played the Sacre-Coeur. The night culminated into standing outside the Moulin Rouge BELTING out Elephant Love Medley. No big deal.

The next evening was spent in a few bars meeting people and the such, but the best bit has to be a role-play that we were from LA, lasting a good few hours. "I had way too much ice today." People must have thought we had literal problems. Then on our last night, Ed's birthday, we threw him a surprise dinner at the other flat (well credit to Kat, Loz and Charl for the hard work! Freya, Beth and I contributed by spending the afternoon watching Jersey Shore and The Kardashians in comatosed states, keeping Ed away) which was a perfect last night together.

I just realised I've only described the evenings, but the days were basically a general mix of sight-seeing, eating and lazing around. It was kind of an opportunity to spend time with friends I won't see for a while as well as for them to come to Paris, so we definitely did a lot of both. Goodbyes at the station were so sad, Katty and Freya both go to university in a matter of weeks and IT'S JUST SO WEIRD. Everybody's getting on with their own different things now, and friends are gonna be all over the place over the next few years! I still can't believe we're at this age and all of this is happening.

Tomorrow Beth has to go back to London for 3 days so I am holding the fort (dumb expression but I have no replacement) alone until Sunday night! Exciting!

Oh and last thought, it's so weird the specific things you miss from home. For me so far, it's my house, and in particular my bedroom, because it's the space I'm so so used to. I miss baths, especially at this time of year when autumn/winter is approaching. Not gonna lie, I miss my teddies Baalamb and Snoopy. And then I miss the things I'm missing back at home, and weirdly I'm OK with missing things that crop up on facebook events like 18ths and 19ths and general parties, or goodbye meals and drinks, even though it would be fun to be at those. More than those things, I find it weird that I'm missing the general things that are going on, like Katie doing year 11, or mum's beginnings as a teacher, or friends getting their things together for university. I hear stories and general updates on skype, but still, it's weird not to be following those things daily.

OK this was way too long. I never know how to end blogs really......sooooooooooo:

It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears

It’s a world of hopes, it’s a world of fear

There’s so much that we share

That it’s time we’re aware

It’s a small world after all

IT’S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL

IT’S A SMALL SMALL WORLD

Now it can be in all your heads as well as mine :)

*Yeah, long story, but our landlady is frigging terrifying. I shook for a good half an hour after she barged over here on an angry hype.

Greetings from Paris

2010-09-04T02:01:00.008+01:00

Hello! I’ve been wanting to blog, but I haven’t managed to get to it until now. It’s Friday night/Saturday morning Parisian time, 2:45 am to be exact, and I’m lying in my new bed over here. As usual whenever I blog, I should be sleeping right now, because we’re collecting friends from the station in the morning, but oh well, I’m awake.

We’ve been here five days now, although it certainly doesn’t feel like that long. What does it feel like? Well for one thing, it feels like a ‘move’ rather than a ‘holiday’. Not that I’ve experienced a move before, so it feels like ‘the way one would expect a move to be’. We haven’t crammed a million sightseeing type things into these 5 days because:

We’ve both been to Paris and done those things before
We’re vaguely watching our money
We have 3 months here to cover all the things we want to do
We’re likely to do those type of things with visitors anyway
We’ve had other things to sort out, like job interviews and metro passes and food shopping and DISNEYLAND PASSES etc

We did however spend yesterday afternoon at the Père-Lachaise cemetery, which was pretty amazing. Oscar Wilde’s grave is flooded with lipstick kisses and Jim Morrison’s attracts a daily flow of people coming to party, drink and smoke around it.

Another highlight was visiting an English style sports bar this evening to watch the football. It was hilarious how much of a home comfort it was seeing Adrian Charles’ face. They showed the England game in one corner on one screen and the French game on the other, and we left chuffed with both results, while the French were similarly dismayed by both.

Anyway, I’ve not covered much, but in short it’s amazing to be here. We love the apartment, and it is home already. We’re experimenting daily in the kitchen. We’re receiving lots of loving skypes. We have so much we’re looking forward to doing, and so much still to explore. And we have many a bar circled in our guide book, which has become our Bible here, although we’ve ticked off a good four or five already.

T-Minus 4 Days.

2010-08-26T23:47:00.000+01:00

Today I went to the bank to pay in a lovely and generous £50 exam results cheque from my grandparents and then I went to Sainsburys and bought a box of 240 PG Tips teabags which will probably last me oh...?? 2 weeks in Paris. And 20 Ribena cartons because there are times in life when all I want is a ribena, and being abroad and unable to satisfy that desire is pretty freaking frustrating. So I'll now be able to satisfy up to 20 of these moments in Paris. I also got a new deodrant because the one I have at the moment is a cheap supermarket brand which smells like absolute shit, which is pretty counterproductive for deodrant. Then I dumped my bags back at home because I'm stupid and didn't think to save the task that involved heavy carrying till last. I then went back out and got my haircut, and the shampoo smelt of apple and my conversation with the guy that washed my hair was pretty much revolved around that one apple scent related observation. Then I crashed Katty's house because it was pouring with rain and I had to pick up a shitty mobile phone from her to take to Paris. Then I stayed for a cup of tea and a chat and a lie down in her bed and then we went to The Diner with Lauren and Charl and later Sarah and I had a cappuccino and a few hours later Sarah and I went back to Charlotte's, where we were passionately ranting but I could only stay for a grand total of 8 minutes or something before having to leave for my aunty's, where I had dinner with Dom and Katie, and this nice girl Hannah who I think's a lodger (?) and my cousin Alix who was there as she'd flown back from walking across the entirety of Spain in order to film for the frigging Little Britain Christmas Special with Matt Lucas and David Walliams (photographic evidence was provided) because that's just the type of life the girl lives, and it was really nice with a roast chicken and selection of roast potatos and new potatos and wine and a late night trip to stock up on icecream where we bumped into Sarah going home, and when we returned it turned out the freezer already had large quantities of ice cream, because my aunty's a Regan after all. Then my aunty dropped us home and here I am now, writing out the details from my day in excruciating detail just for the sake of it.

Bit of a morbid post...

2010-08-25T23:57:00.001+01:00

So one minute I'm struggling to keep up with one post a day for BEDA and the next I'm posting two in a day. I guess I just don't respond well to having to do something, even if it's something I want to do.

Today was not a great day. The Esther thing (re my last post) wouldn't get out of my mind. I'm so angry and upset and angry again. It's very weird because I didn't know her in the slightest, just of her, but I've read lots of beautiful tributes today and a lot of people are in the same boat, so that's something, guess I'm not the only one.

I feel slightly surrounded by bad or scary news at the moment, not in a direct way from anyone close to me, but I just keep hearing horrible things. Like my neighbour's au pair is in her early 20s and suddenly got these fits on Sunday and is now severely in critical care having brain scans. And on the news there seems to be a new crisis every day. I'm still reeling from the gravity of the devastation in Pakistan, and the continuing disaster, and I feel beyond disgusted and angry at the apparent lack of anywhere near sufficient international aid. And then I read today about bomb attacks in Iraq, 72 migrants shot dead in Mexico in some drugs related thing, more people killed in a mine collapsing in Venezuela, there's the plane crash in China, a bus and train crash killing children in South Africa, another plane crash in the Democratic Republic of Congo - it all makes me feel really queasy. It just seems like bad news followed by bad news at the moment.

Anyway, I was in a weird mood by this afternoon and it was topped by stress and fear about moving, but I went along to Jamilah's anyway because if I'm in a bad mood it's usually so good for me to get out rather than continue to wallow in my bedroom. It was kind of frustrating because it looked like such a perfect night and I just wish I could have enjoyed it more. We were in a decorated marquee in the garden, with speakers and inflatable sofas (!), greeted by Jamilah's mum with A BRIGHT PINK WRISTBAND EACH that said 'Jamilah's 18th' and were ridiculously cool, there were a million delicious snacks and a never ending bowl of punch. And Jamilah's two very little sisters are the sweetest of sweets! Anyway, I chatted, catching up with people from school and their plans and things, and snacked (SUCH GOOD FOOD) and drank punch and danced a little, but when Lauren wasn't feeling well I was more than happy to leave early with her because I was just ready to be home. How social of me! I was also wearing trainers, jeans and a long sleeved top, and I realised how therapeutic it is when you get dressed up to go out because it puts you in the right frame of mind for going out, whereas in what I was wearing it just felt odd to rave it up! I stopped off at Lauren's for a chilled cup of tea on the way home, I want to cram in as much time with people as I can this week!

Well there you have it, thoughts from my fairly emotional day. I'm sorry it was so morbid. I wore my leather jacket out tonight which made me kind of happy because it kind of represents Autumn for me and made my excited about that time of year, which is just around the corner, and I'll be spending it in Paris which is pretty darn cool. Not that I don't love summer. I love all the seasons! I think what I love is the period when the season's changing, cause I really like change and I get bored easily and you get a real sense of anticipation over what's to come in the next part of the year. I wouldn't like to live somewhere without the four seasons, how boring! OK, that really is it now, except please donate to Pakistan if you can, the floods are now heading towards South Pakistan so things are not looking up at all yet. I think it's something like 17 million people affected so far, bear in mind that the population of London is about 7 million.

A Non BEDA

2010-08-25T17:32:00.001+01:00

As you can probably tell, I've totally abandoned BEDA. I'm glad I tried it but I want to blog when I want to and not when I have to, and it made me start to think of blogging as a chore which I don't want. Anyway, here's a quick update. Today is Wednesday, so I have a ridiculous four more days of living here before moving to Paris on Monday for nearly 3 months. I am currently in the stage where I find this a terrifying prospect. Paris was always a pipedream, something to fantasise about on long walks home, and even when the flat was booked it somehow remained this, mostly because it was so far off and there was so much to happen before it. And now suddenly it's in the very, very near future.

This week is so busy and hectic. Last night I met up with Cali, the girl I've been childminding for the past year, and her parents for a lovely, albeit short, catch up at The Queensbury, a pub/restaurant in Willesden that I'm a big fan of. Then I came home to watch One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest with mum and Dom. Tonight is a friend from school Jamilah's 18th; tomorrow evening I'm having supper with my aunty and have a million errands to do in the daytime; Friday I'm possibly having breakfast with friends, then lunch with family and my great uncle and am going to see Hair in the evening. And on it goes! Saturday is packing, and more friend/family seeing; Sunday's carnival, and Monday morning is coffee with my beloved French tutor!

I had a brilliant time at V Festival. I wish I had time to blog fully about it but instead here's a list of who I saw. The line up was so full and appealing to me that I had to miss so many artists I would have loved to see, top of those is probably Imogen Heap, but at the same time I saw some epic (lol - Hamid, Amy, Charl) performances which I will never forget. Springing to mind at the top of the list is shacking out like it was my last day on Earth, standing on a hill in the dark and in the rain in an entirely packed out field to a mindblowing set from The Prodigy. And also, Madness. I've never seen such a feel good band in my life. They did hit after hit after hit, the whole crowd was jumping and singing and they were absolutely hilarious 'old farts' on stage, even handing out wine to the crowd. Loved it.

SATURDAY

1. The Pretty Reckless

2. Feeder

3. Passion Pit

4. The Coral (Heard, didn't see)

5. Paloma Faith

6. Tinie Tempah

7. Jason Derulo

8. Scouting for Girls

9. Florence and the Machine

10. Kings of Leon

SUNDAY

1. Example

2. Plan B

3. Madness

4. Paolo Nutini

5. The Kooks

6. Faithless

7. The Prodigy

On a final note, this morning a 16 year old Harry Potter and Doctor Who loving girl with cancer, Esther, died. She was a bright and happy part of the online nerdfighter community and it is so so sickeningly horrible. She is going to be missed by so many people. I watched this video from two weeks ago earlier and cried my heart out.

BEDA: August 19th

2010-08-19T23:21:00.004+01:00

I've logged onto UCAS about five times today just to make sure it's real, and everytime I read it I get a little tingle of wonder and disbelief:

Congratulations! Your place at The University of Manchester (M20) to study Social Anthropology (L600) has been confirmed.

From last night to right now there has been a wild range of extreme emotion, from love and tears at The Last Supper, to angst and nerves and worry and sadness and celebration and tears and pride and stress to finally just pure exhausted delerium.

My final overall results were an A* in English Literature, an A in Economics, a B in French and a B in History. Compared to my AS last year, English went up by a grade and History went down by a grade, so really it all just evened out in equilibrium. And I was completely thrilled (and stunned) to get an A*!

I was thrilled for a lot of people today; I know for instance how much Katty deserved her grades for Nottingham, or how much Beth strived for that French mark despite all obstaces; Freya getting into Leeds was amazing after so many teary phonecalls during exams; Charlotte's A* was beyond brilliant and I could go on and on like this because I was so proud, and so knew how much each person deserved each good grade they got. In the same vein however, if it can feel that good when people do well, I was crushed for the people whose day didn't go well. I hope things work out for all of these people, but in fact I'm entirely sure that they will, in some form or other. Like Amy for instance, she got her results and you could see straight away from the look in her eyes that she hadn't got what she'd needed for Sussex. But the PDubs don't stand for that shit. We rallied the troops at Freya's kitchen table, and with The Independent's course listings for clearings, two laptops, a million people shouting different options and courses and telephone numbers left, right and centre and everyone's phones on the go, the girl got offered a place at Brighton University in the most ridiculously short amount of time. So glad.

So tired this evening I had to miss Charlotte Speechley's post-results shindig. I was packed for V and ready to shower and sleep at some early-bird hour but then my family called me down for bubblaaay which I'm not exactly going to turn down, so I ended up sitting around downstairs with the music and the convo and the general ting, despite needing to physically wedge my eyes open with my fingers, so much so that Katie thought I was mimicking wearing glasses, for some odd and unknown reason.

I have a coach to V Festival to catch at 9-FRIGGING-AM tomorrow and therefore need, need, need, need, need sleep. I feel like I have a lot more to say but I literally can't do it all right now, so hopefully it'll get written next week. Today's one of those days when your head is literally non-stop buzzing, because you have to process the unique situations, grades and emotions of pretty much every British 18 year old you know. I wish I could shut my brain off for like one second because it feels like it's throbbing from an overload of information and processing.

I think I'm going to bullet-point the things I need to talk about in my next post, or next several ones, because if it's published on here it'll be more difficult for me to brush it under the carpet and never cover it. Future me gon' kill me for this!

- The Last Supper

- University - Why I want to go in the first place, excitement, John Green's vlog, and my non-jealous jealousy of others

- V Festival

- The idiot lady in Jacks

BEDA: August-a-few-days-somewhere-in-the-teens-um-yeah-sorry

2010-08-18T14:43:00.001+01:00

That’s right, you heard, I’m altering the very laws on which the world of blogging doth lie. I’m changing BEDA: Blog Every Day August to BAEDA: Blog About Every Day August. A subtle yet useful alteration.

Today is Wednesday. Wednesday the 18^th of August. And although tomorrow is Results Day, the day that literally decides what the next stage of my life will be, it’s today, Wednesday, that’s set to be a memorable and poignant day. That part’s tonight though. From my day itself so far, you would think me weird for naming today ‘memorable’ and ‘poignant’, unless an attempt at frying potatoes for lunch, listening to music from Glee and sitting on the internet is really that special for you. But more on tonight in a bit. It’s Wednesday today and I need to cover Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday first.

As I mentioned but didn’t elaborate on I went to meet, see and hear John Green on Saturday. I was expecting a funny speaker who I was excited to see in real life and who did a passionate talk about a good book, but I wasn’t expecting what I got: to hear not just a funny guy but a wise and enlightening talk that left my brain rattling with a million follow up thoughts. I think this was one of the two best talks I’ve heard, and sadly I was not at the other one, just watching through my computer screen. The world is lucky to have a thinker like John Green.

I spent Saturday afternoon and evening drained and with a headache. My response to this was to crawl under my duvet (the obvious response) and put on... Mamma Mia, a loud musical. (The not so obvious response.) Not only did I decide to watch Mamma Mia, but I got to the menu sequence and couldn’t resist clicking ‘Play sing-a-long version’ rather than ‘Play’. This led to me making feeble whining sounds from under my duvet as I attempted to sing along but couldn’t quite match the enthusiasm.

On Sunday, mum and I got up early to catch a train to York. We went because my mum went to university there, and a few weeks ago we were talking about her time there and the fact I’d never been so we thought we’d right that and make a visit. Also, because I’d grown up with numerous friends telling me tales about this wondrous place up North where you can put on a Viking hat (The Jorvick Centre). And the final reason was blatantly because mum wanted to spend some quality time with her first-born-female before I fly the nest.

So York. The accent is amazing and the city is very, very pretty. And while no matter where I go in the country I can always safely say that there’s ‘not as much to do here as London’, it didn’t seem like a boring place. The university campus, just outside the city but a walkable distance, is by contrast fairly ugly, to be honest. Although I’m sure there is little telling what a campus is truly like unless it’s term time, and you’re a fellow student, rather than walking around virtually deserted grounds with your middle-aged reminiscing mother. A redeeming feature was it’s centred on this small lake, with little bridges crossing it, although I could not stop uttering to mum my perplexity over how intoxicated students don’t fall in the water night after night after night. And get pecked at by the scary geese.

Mum and I sat on some grass by a Church in the sun for several hours after that, chatting about all sorts, and then walked back into York for dinner in a restaurant of good music and food but poor lighting choice. I probably got my earliest night of the summer that night, curling up in the B&B soon after the Amish programme finished. Although first before sleeping, we lay peeking out the window amused by watching some local youts on the street.

The next day was spent sitting by the river, walking round town, a spot of shopping, lunch in a Yorkshire pub, looking at the Jew Mound, sitting in coffee shops, watching a street performer and making childhood dreams come true by visiting the Jorvick Centre. One tip, which mum was disproportionately proud of herself over, is to book first, because we strolled on past the very long queue and walked right in. The museum’s highlights have to be the ride through a reconstruction of the Viking town of York (Jorvick) and a genuine Viking poo. No further comment.

Yesterday, back in London, I went for lunch with Freya at the Costa Coffee which has just opened on Salusbury Road, precisely three doors down from Starbucks, as they always are. The two of us have seen very little of each other this summer because of mismatched holiday timings and so we met for a much-much-much-needed catch up, and to work on a little something which cannot quite be disclosed yet. We then had the honour of joining Lauren in Kilburn TO MEET HER DAD, who has been a secret figure of Lauren’s life, the man behind many tales but who I’d never had a face for, and was very nice and generously paid for us to sit at the next table in The Little Bay and quench our thirsts. To get a coke, in simpler words.

The three of us then wandered down Kilburn High Road in what has to have been the most budget festival shop in the history of budget festival shopping. It’s amazing how ready you can feel for a festival after 3 people purchase: 1 cow onsie, 3 disgusting, pretentious, clear glasses, 1 glow stick necklace and 1 of these, which I have no name for:

I then spent the evening first in Lauren’s bedroom for pre-drinks with the same aforementioned two. It has to be said, whoever invented the concept of pre-drinks needs a sainthood. They are my favourite part of a night. We then returned to Kilburn to join Dorsa and co to celebrate her 18^th in The Westbury, which featured dancing in toilets and pool, or snooker, or pool, and then on the way home a visit to, and I do not know the name but for the sake of this blog I will Christen it ‘Kilburn Kebabz’, because that’s just pretty darn perfect for it.

OK, so we have reached Wednesday. But we have also reached blogging fatigue. So let me simply state that tonight is The Last Supper. I will be with this lot:

to celebrate um, The End? To celebrate, us? To celebrate, the future? I don’t know, maybe just to celebrate. There will be tears and laughter. Lots of both.

I am staying at Katty's and I plan not to sleep and spend the night doing all sorts, including a walk around Queens Park in the middle of the night, or early morning, reminiscing all of our hot spots, and then tomorrow morning is results and my feelings for that can be portrayed accurately and intellectually in the following pragraph:

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bkfnmv.mnhr.gngbbgxxFEARxxxxxxxFEAAAARRjunfd.zxfjnsfjhnjCRYkfnfkgndkVOM.

VOMVOMVOM.

Right, well, see ya!

Check my nails!

BEDA: August 14th

2010-08-15T00:53:00.000+01:00

BASICALLY: I don't feel well, am sleep deprived and have an early train in the morning. More importantly, John Green was so awesome that attempting to blog in this frame of mind would not do the man justice. So I WILL blog about it, but just not tonight. In fact, you probably won't get a post until Monday evening because I am going to York and won't have the internet. So I promise three posts for three days when I return, and I apologise that that's the best I can offer. Goodnight!

BEDA: August 13th

2010-08-13T23:02:00.000+01:00

Friday the 13th today, lucky I don't give a crap about that then. Predictably, I spent the AM section of today (I think they call it morning...) snooze-a-loozing. I then got up, sauntered to the kitchen and chatted with Dom and then mum for ages, while sitting on the kitchen counter drinking tea and eating toast and a banana (lots more detail than you care for there). I heard lots of Croatia stories and was given a pretty pack of cards as a present, along with a box of chocolate mousse chcocolates which I have enjoyed diving in to. Much needed catch up with my family!

Then I found a metal fork from Nandos in my bag.

It was raining, and my bank account is weeping, and so I figured it was going to be a restful day at home today. I was definitely right. I spent the majority of the day reading. I also devoured chocolate goodness and had a pizza and an episode of Modern Family for lunch and we had sausage and mash for dinner. I also enjoyed an extremely long bubble bath, which was amazing because I hadn't had a bath in ages.

Today I was reading, and finished, Looking For Alaska by John Green: author and one half of the incredibly witty, entertaining and engaging Vlogbrothers duo. He's written four novels, Looking for Alaska being the first and the other one I've read, Will Grayson, Will Grayson is his fourth and most recent. I'm not the fastest reader and so I'm normally reading books over quite a bit of time, but aside from maybe 50 pages on Wednesday night I read the whole thing today. It's been a while since I've devoured a book in that way, in fact I think it's only really with Harry Potter that I can perform such mega reading marathons. So that's already a sign that it was gooood. Incidentally, tomorrow I am going to a book reading, discussion and signing with John Green himself, at Waterstones, Piccadilly for the UK release of his third novel Paper Towns, and I'm excited.

But back to the novel. For me it topped Will Grayson, Will Grayson but it had lovable and real characters in a very similar way. It was adorable and funny and moving and heart-breaking all in one and I loved it.

It is now 11PM and I am currently buying a CD case on ebay so I can take ample DVDs to Paris. I have no immediate plans for the remainder of this evening. The world is my oyster... or, iPlayer/the fridge is my oyster. Hasta la vista.

"Sometimes you lose a battle. But mischief always wins the war." - Looking For Alaska, John Green

BEDA: August 12th

2010-08-13T01:56:00.000+01:00

Ah crunk up in here (here being my bedroom) and feeling the funk. Which means I'd much rather be crashed out in bed than blogging right now. The things I do ehhhhhh?!

To be honest it's a wonder I'm still standing, never mind blogging, as I've been drinking since midday today. It was Flora's 18th so we went round to hers at about 1 and had a BBQ in her garden - cooked up kindly by her sister's boyfriend - along with Pimms, cake, speeches and wine from the satchel. The satchel is our discovery of the summer: a 3 litre box of wine sold in Sainsbury's FOR FIVE POUNDS. Incredible. Anyway, I had a lovely time at Flora's this afternoon, and then she was having dinner with family and so some of us relocated to Charlotte's. Instead of taking a break we kept the party ball rolling and had fantka (fanta and vodka, heavenly) in her kitchen. Accompanied by ciabatta bread and the autotune app. A few hours later we picked up Flora and walked to The Black Lion in Kilburn for birthday celebrations with the peeps from school. Highlight of the night may have to be a Nandos visit with the 'fuckheads'. I heard Lauren say the word 'Nandos' and SPRANG off the bench, grabbed my purse and ran down the street with her, Amy and Speechley. The waitress was absolutely hilarous, and a doll. She didn't care that we filled up our glass of free tap water with coke right in front of her nose. And she indulged us with a photo before she left because she's just that cool.

Had a long conversation with Speech on the way to the poob and it was good to hear how she was and all. A large proportion of time at the pub was spent brainstorming names for our collab channel with Speechley, Amy and Grace. Other significant proportions of time were spent laughing at Charlotte talk, or try to; expressing love for Christina; showing concern for Ben at how he'll have a lonely, awkward 19th birthday with no friends and acting out our very own Pretty Little Liars. Had a good convo with Grace about her family stories on the way home, ignoring our friend duties as Amy and Speechley hauled a giggling, singing Charlotte home behind us. We took Charlotte home and put her to bed, still giggling from cocooned in her duvet. I think we probably made more noise shushing and stepping on cats and bustling through the dark house laughing than if we'd let her go alone. Then again she may have gone to sleep on the stairs so... And then came home, watched the latest Shaytards video and yeah, had a very fun day today, with lots of drinkys, lots of jokes and lots of good conversations, and now would like to sleep.

BEDA: August 11th

2010-08-11T23:33:00.001+01:00

Hi guys. It feels like today's been a long day. Partly due to the fact I didn't get to sleep until in the bright dazzle of dawn after 5 this morning, giving me about 4 hours sleep in total, and partly because it was a long day.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before in my blog but my friends and I decided that for each of our 18th birthdays we'd each contribute £10 and then go shopping for presents together. This means there's £100 for each birthday, but we also decided we wanted to get a group thing, like a necklace (the trials and trivilations of this necklace organising, which has dragged on since SEPTEMBER, is a long, long process - too much for one girl and her blog to handle explaining).

Anyway, to cut boring details short, every time we put £40 of the £100 aside and spend the remaining £60 on presents. Today we did our last of these shops. (And I think I can say this because I am fairly sure Flora doesn't read this blog, and if she does it's not likely to be between now and tomorrow, when we give her her presents. And if she does read it, well then I ruined the fact that we shopped for her today. Which really would not be that big a problem. So ha.) There was a pretty depleated number of just four of us today because holidays and jobs call, but we got some golden finds I'd say. As well as making two visits to Whole Foods to fill our hands with slithers of sample bread, the only taster on offer after ~~prying the pridelands~~ walking up the aisles scouraging for freebies... It really is budget times for us right now.

Anyway, it's been really fun doing this for every birthday. I never actually believed we'd actually stick to it right through all the birthdays, and I am proud to say I made all ten shops. We managed shops even when cranky, usually due to one, or worse a combination of three factors: being hungover, the pouring rain and it being exam period. But we got pretty darn good at whirling through Portobello market on Saturdays picking things out.

Anyway, after that shop, and spotting Lily Cole and making two stops at two separate falafel places to meet the varied falafel-demands of the others as well as a quick hello to professional-seeming receoptonist Beth at her place of work, (I think it was the standing behind a desk that did it. Oooh desk!) we headed over for a spot of food at Charlotte's. We sat in her garden for a little while, hearing about her American relatives and going through a rollercoaster of an experience with wasp Mary-Sparks, and then, eyelids drooping, I headed home, pleading from the bottom of my heart that the house situation would be improved and they'd be finishing up.

Alas, when I got in, it didn't look that way, and I did my recently accustomed thing of retreating quickly upstairs and shutting myself anonymously in my bedroom like a fugitive. I snuggled down for the summer finale of Pretty Little Liars, sorted through some things and then listened loserishly at the door to hear when they'd left, a pretty pathetic image... It wasn't till around 20 to 7 that I heard silence and eased open the door, and then had to take a genuine quadruple take. Everything was back to normal, as if it had never happened. The carpet was back with not a sign of being recently uprooted, everything had been restacked on bookshelves which had been totally empty a few hours earlier and it was just a generally weird sensation walking round the house and having it so transformed from just several hours earier.

I wasn't sure at this point what time my family were returning and so everything turned into a mad dash to get things ready. Overjoyed at the fact I could use the oven, I proceeded to, and leave your judgement at the door people, cook myself BOTH the ready meals I'd got. At the same time I was manically washing up, taking out recyling, cleaning surfaces, rearranging stuff back to normal that the plumbers had moved around, running to the high road to purchase milk that didn't smell of rotting cow as the current bottle did, and doing numerous other tasks at the same time. I literally could have the lead in a domestic housewife meets Mission Impossible film. Let's pitch it. I then collapsed sweaty and breathless on the sofa to watch the football, and texted my mum to check their whereabouts. It turned out that when I texted, it was half an hour until they were even boarding their flight, never mind getting home, and they're likely to be home around 1 in the morning. What a lol.

So yeah, then some football went down, and it occured to me that England were in a bit of a lose-lose situation. Play badly, and everyone's like "Arrh you're still shit! Haven't even learnt anything after your world cup failure eh shitheads?!". But play well, and everyone's like "Well WHYYYY didn't you do that before huh?!". And also, Walcott is so good that it's such a major joke that he wasn't in the World Cup squad. I cannot even fathom that rationale. Oh but Heskey, yeah of course he's a keeper?! Well not a keeper in that sense... a striker... supposedly anyway... but you get me...

So anyway yaaaar G this was a weird blog and I know in essence the blog was just describing the simple fact that 'Plumbers finished a job.' but YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO MEEEE! I can SIT in the LIVING ROOM! I can put on the TV! I can EAT properly! I don't fear that the floor will fall through every time I walk down the corridor.

So even though I'm tired and I'm running on four hours sleep and I have a long day of birthday celebration-ing (otherwise known as celebrating...oh delirium) tomorrow and and and and yeah, even though those things, I'm planning to keep myself up for the next two hours to see my family when they return, because I'm just that NICE a daughter/sister. HAA. Um more likely a reason is that I fear I'm going a little loopy from living alone and social interaction with my next of kin may do me much-needed good.

As I have no idea what I'm going to do for two hours, seeing as I seem to have rinsed off all the good stuff on iPlayer already, I'm trying to drag this post out. So here's a little 'survey of now'. I say that like it's a thing, I'm definitely making this shit up as I go.

Reading: Morality Play by Barry Unsworth, although I'm still on the first chapter. I also have John Green's Looking For Alaska, Orwell's Down and Out in Pairs and London and the Lonely Planet Paris guide book strewn on my pillow, as if it's possible to read four books at one time. And I don't mean be reading several books over the same time period, I seem to think it'll be possible to read multiple books at the literal same time. Not gonna happen Tash.

Last 3 things on the 'Last Played' list on iPlayer: Underage and Pregnant; Tulisa: My Mum and Me and a comedy radio programme of different comedians at Edinburgh festival.

Last thing I ate: A peach. I brought a pack of four from Sainsbury's because I wanted to STICK IT TO THE MAN because fruit is expensive and crappy food is cheap and I was trying to do a really cheap shop. And then I thought, NO, this is where so many health problems lie and I have to buy fruit to avoid being part of THE SYSTEM/CYCLE OF DEATH-TRAP and so I invested in 4 peaches. And then I got home and they weren't that good and I regretted not choosing a different fruit. In conclusion, I am so hard-core that I 'stuck it to the man' by purchasing fruit.

BEDA: August 10th

2010-08-10T23:57:00.000+01:00

Today I woke up and pretty much just got dressed and left the house. Actually I'm pretty sure that's a lie, I seem to remember jamming with my laptop in bed for a good while first. But anyway, some period of time - possibly short and possibly long - after waking up, I got dressed and left the house. Watered the neighbour's garden again, not a clue whether I'm drowning the plants or starving them, but it's likely I'm doing one of the two. Then I got on a bus to High Street Ken, and met Hester's dad on the journey, so we had a nice old catch up, both of us heading out on lone shopping trips. Impressively, my shopping trip was a success in two senses. One, I did everything on my list. Two, I didn't get things not on the list. That second thing is particularly difficult in travel shops, where you seem to get convinced that every item you see in there is a complete necessity for you, even if it's something you didn't even know existed until that moment. After my shop, I paid a visit to ye ulde Permaul residence and sat with Amy and Ella, hearing Ella's Big Chill stories, eating toast, drinking tea and stalking youtubers. After a while, Amy and I went over to Sarah's, along with Lauren, and Flora who's just returned back from camp.

Being able to do that, bop over to a friend's house one afternoon, is probably one of the things I'm going to miss the most. And opening their fridge and helping myself to food. And not feeling worried when I'm still there and it's past nine in the evening and it's blatant I've overstayed my welcome because I've been there since lunchtime. And spending such lenghts of time doing I couldn't tell you what, just sitting around really. And leaving their house in an explicably good mood, just from spending time with them. I can't really imagine not being able to do those things. And yet, it'll be a reality in less time than I think I realise. So I'm trying not to think about it.

Moving swiftly on before the tears come, do yourself a favour and listen to Greg Holden. He's on spotify so no excuses. Seriously do. I can't stop. This evening I updated my V Festival playlist, so I'm very excited for that now. The artists I'm most excited about are Jason Derulo, Imogen Heap, Florence + The Machine (again!), Kings of Leon and Madness. I'm sure you haven't heard of any of those though, I'm kind of like, really, really, effortlessly underground.

BEDA: August 9th

2010-08-09T21:52:00.000+01:00

Not at all in the blogging mood. Right now I'm the blogging equivalent of a sulking, resentful twelve year old girl being dragged on a 'family trip' and going along but grumping the whole way. I am perfectly aware that I am the one who opted to do this, and that there's no dealth penalty for failing to keep up with it, and yet I'm still like: "Hmph, FINE. I'll write your silly blog post for BEDA. Blah blah bleugh!".

Not sure what specifically has prompted this mood. It's partly the fact that my situation at the moment seems to be resemblant of Anne Frank's. I crept down from the loft cautiously at around 5:40 this afternoon and peered into every room of the house making sure that the plumbers had in fact left for the day. Following on from yesterday's cooking incident, I quickly tested the oven and from the overbearing stench of gas that almost choked me, got the vague impression that I shouldn't use the oven either... What kills me about that is I can't use either of the exciting ready meals I got myself at Sainsburys (toad in the hole and a korma and rice!) and am instead survivng on anything I can put in the toaster, or anything I can have without cooking it. Which really comes down to just bread products. God damn not having a microwave!

Apart from watching TV shows on my computer in my bed for the majority of the afternoon and evening, I did go for a run. This was the first bit of exercise I've attempted in a good while and the result was hilarious. I returned so out of breath that it took a few minutes before I could even drink water, because I couldn't afford the break from inhaling deep breaths of air that the act of drinking would require... However, back in my room, with the endorphins flowing but not wanting to go back onto the street to humiliate myself further, I did a bit of a made-up workout routine in my bedroom. It was fun. In a sad, loner-ish, type of way.

Basically I'm being driven a leetle bit mental due to being cooped up in one room for too long and am planning to get out the house for as much of the day as possible tomorrow. I feel like I should think of some interesting things to blog about, because really, this is probably boring people to death at the moment. Please give me inspiration and ideas! Or don't, you know, it's cool, whatever. On a final note, it's three weeks till I move to Paris and omgthatiscrazylikewtf?!?!?!?!

BEDA: August 8th

2010-08-09T14:30:00.000+01:00

OK, I suck, because I definitely failed to BEDA yesterday. Gonna pretend I didn't though and write it now. I'll just live my life a day behind from now on, it's cool.

Yesterday I had to be uber responsible and do standard 'responsible' things, all made harder by the state of the house. For instance washing up wouldn't be a problem if there was hot water, and I could reach the sink without leaning dramatically forward over the rubble. Tasks included watering the neighbour's garden, watering the plants in the house and making a trip to Sainsburys. Food is so expensive I wanted to cry, I think I will be permanently hungry at university.

When I came home I wanted to grill fishfingers. After turning on the grill I felt like something was a little bit odd and possibly could smell gas, although possibly it was me being paranoid. So I turned it off to be safe and thought I would have a go at frying them, cause I'm ultra healthy like that. When I put the fishfingers in the oil, the hob erupted into flames. Scariest thing ever, I turned the gas off as quick as I possibly could and preceded to huff and puff at the flames, with my little pathetic asthmatic lungs, until it went out. I then had to have a 'sit down' because I was shaking so much from my brush with death, or burning the house down. Going a little bit loopy because with the plumbing work I can't watch TV, can't bath, can barely be in any room except mine, and now it seems I can't even cook. They also set off the smoke alarm a second ago, which is really fantastic for my head today.

Anyway, tired of being a recluse and wanting to see some friends I hadn't seen since before Italy, I offered my garden for an evening of eating, drinking and being merry with Sarah, Amy, Charl and Lauren. 3 out of 4 stayed over, hence the lack of blog, because I usually do it last thing before sleep. This morning (I'm being ker-aaazy and blogging a bit of August 9th on my August 8th post. Whatcha gonna do?!) we rolled downstairs, past the line of disapproving plumbers, and went to Kensal Rise to meet Beth for an English brekkie. Mmm.

And voila, now I'm home again, wondering what entertaining things I can find to do while stuck in this room. I feel like Giovanni. Also wondering what time plumbers tend to stop work for the day. Now wondering whether I should use this time to be productive and do stuff I need to do, like write CVs or make birthday cards, or whether I should do the things that I blatantly already know I'm gonna choose to do instead, like watch Mamma Mia (been craving it) and catch up on the Amish show.

Absolutely no idea what I'll be blogging about for tonight's post, because nothing all that mental is lined up for the day.... soooo see ya later for the awkward-ness. I love how that suggests that this post was absolutely thrilling.

Oh yeah, one last thing, today I saw the van that goes around filling up vending machines. It was really cool and just filled with stacks and stacks of vending machine goodness. But also slightly ruined the illusion that they just somehow never run out.

OK, that is all.

BEDA: August 7th

2010-08-08T01:21:00.000+01:00

Today I went to Summer In The City, a YouTube 'gathering', with Grace and Amy. The afternoon was in Hyde Park and the evening was a gig at The Luminaire in Kilburn. I'd never been to a YouTube gathering before and it was really odd to see people I watch through a screen in real life. It's also kind of awkward, because how do you start a conversation with someone who you know so much about yet they have no clue who you are? There were around 200 of us in Hyde Park I think, so it was hard for them to organise anything in particular. A giant game of duck, duck, goose was however attempted. When it rained, everybody gathered under a tree where some people were trying to have a picnic. They were so overwhelmed and confused but we sang 'Jez' a happy birthday so it's all good. We did chat to some people, and sang along with some dude and his guitar, but mostly just chatted amongst ourselves. We then made our way to Kilburn, getting horrendously drenched in the heavy rain, and were first in the queue for the gig except for two other girls, who were really nice. One thing that was fun was common ground with the majority of people there, I mean the entire crowd even sang the Pokémon theme while waiting! Geeks-r-us.

Everyone that played was really good, we saw him and him and then them, minus Charlie. After a few drinks I even managed to introduce myself briefly to Kayley from Five Awesome Girls. After the bands finished we sang and danced to a long flow of classics, from Scroobius Pip to The Jam.

Overall though, I think gatherings like this one are best when you have an 'in', so it's great for youtubers to get together with other youtubers, but in settings like these with such large numbers of people there's always gonna be that natural barrier between the subscribers and the subscribed. Unless you're uber-confident. In all honesty, I'm kind of glad to go back to these people being 2D for me.

Didn't enjoy the journey home at all, and it's weird to get in late to an empty and dark house. With no food.

Tomorrow I need to sleep, give my legs a rest, get food in the house and do some washing up. Arrivederci x

BEDA: August 6th

2010-08-07T00:18:00.005+01:00

Travelling is exhausting, I can barely keep my eyes open, but I want to keep this going so I am struggling onwards. We left the house in Italy at around 10 this morning, Italian time, and I got back to my house at 9 this evening. Except that it’s not really my house at the moment. You know after a long journey you start fantasising about being in your house, putting the kettle on, and all of that comfort stuff; well I returned to a bombsite. Plumbers are halfway through a major job of replacing our archaic piping system and the house is in absolute turmoil. The carpets have been stripped off, lots of furniture moved, crap all over the place and things ripped out from the walls and everything. This’ll sound over-dramatic, but it’s like seeing your friend sick, having your house in such a state. I would have enjoyed the freedom of having the house to myself until Wednesday, when my family come home, but I can’t really do much apart from in my bedroom so may just have to stay out the way as much as possible until it’s finished.

While I love, love holidays; I hate, hate the travelling. The journey was as follows: car, train, train, plane (but after a frigging delay of three hours), Burger King, an easybus minivan, car, a speedy stop off at Sarah’s, car, home. Trying to think of any reportable bits. There were three Americans on the train to Ancona, and their conversation was simultaneously hilarious, shocking and depressing. I mean it was every stereotype of Americans coming true. All the Americans I know are lovely, funny and liberal, so I always kind of feel that the crazies often presented to us are almost fictional, or very, very distant from me. There was this sign on the station platforms, clearly portraying a person walking over a yellow line, and then a big cross on front of it. Now I’m pretty sure those signs are created in a way that they can be universally understood, in any language, probably even by a four year old. ‘Don’t cross the yellow line’ read the writing underneath, even in English as well as Italian. And yet, oh sigh, because of the way the figure was supposed to be ‘walking’, one leg was further back than the other, and this led the Americans to conclude that the sign portrayed a ‘handicapped’ man, and that it was to indicate to ‘amputees’ not to get too close to the track, because that would be dangerous. This is not a joke, they were not mocking the sign, they genuinely, from the bottom of their brains, believed this was the sign’s intention. These are three adult Americans: a man and a woman around 60 and a man around 30/40, at a guess. They went on to discuss the Bible, of course. With the woman exclaiming loudly and obnoxiously that “Don’t you believe in miracles?!” and then quoting Bible stories, no joke. Somebody in Italy told us that American backpackers tend to lie and say they’re Canadian, and now I see why.

I am going to miss Italy so much, I already do, and I’ll miss each and every one of the people I was staying with. I had such a lovely, fun, memorable, beautiful time there. I’m the ultimate hypocrite, because I’m feeling the typical post holiday cliché that can really get on my nerves when people say it to me, as they’ve been lucky enough to get such a holiday in the first place, but yet I feel it so strongly right now: I wish I was back there!

I think the things I missed the most while I was away were genuinely the Shaytards (it’s a YouTube thang) and Ribena. Aside from friends and family that is, of course......

Just in case it’s not clear, the 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th of August have all been written just now, to catch up. I will now do my best to keep it daily, probably in the evenings, but I’ll see how it pans out. These aren’t the best of pieces of writing, I’m well aware of that, but I’m enjoying it nonetheless and I like to think that somebody will read these, even if it’s just me remembering August in a couple of months time... Hey there future Tash!!

BEDA: August 5th

2010-08-07T00:17:00.010+01:00

For our final day, we once again bopped to the beach, when I say bopped I mean were driven. At around half five it was still nice and hot, but we suddenly noticed everyone suddenly packing up and hurrying away around us. Then looking up in the sky there was a cloud of doom moving along the beach, I have never seen weather flip so hilariously like that. We sat in some semi-sheltered place and drank coronas and met Mexicans and braved out the storm in style. Then went out for dinner in the beach town, for the last night, and had the entire restaurant staff out to come out the kitchen and gawp at us because we were English. Had a delicious meal there, and had a really satisfying, long conversation before moving on to a lovely bar, in which every time you ordered a drink you’d get a humungous platter of food for free along with it. We also met the owner, who told us about how he was the third-generation owner. The bar was really homely, with family photos everywhere dating right back to his grandparents at the very same bar in 1925. Such a nice guy. We moved on to ‘the strip’, walked along the beach, found a bar that played Elvis and Aretha and plonked ourselves right next to the DJ, so we were practically sitting on the decks.

I’ve told the general summary of the days there, but I feel there’s so much I’ve missed, so in the shortest form I know how, here are my biggest memories from Italy: grasshoppers; showtunes; singing; laughing; scrabble; more showtunes; a dead deer; Mexicans; drunken car conversation; stars and burps; beautiful Italian men; Bobba the babe; Tina the larger-than-life singer; Matthew the comic; Jess the comic; Matt and Jess the drivers; Sharon’s ‘too-lemony-but-I-thought-was-scrumptious’ risotto; lying on the sofas after meals cracking jokes with the don Giulie and Anna-Banana; an Italian word of the day; Jess and co switching from speaking Arabic to French to Italian to Russian; chats in the sea; feminism; storms; sun and many upon many long, deep and satisfying conversations.

BEDA: August 4th

2010-08-07T00:17:00.009+01:00

Oh Wednesday, oh Wednesday August 4th, oh what a dramatic start. The house is in the hills, on the top of a hill. Katty’s room is at the top of the house. There was a storm. A massive, thunder storm. At 6:30 in the morning, we were woken because lightening had struck INSIDE the bedroom, twice. I had no idea that could happen. It was so scary. Our eyes were closed, as we were sleeping, and even then it was one of the brightest flashes I’ve ever seen, accompanied by a deafening crack sound, as if someone had apparated into the room, followed by a series of sparks flying around. Katty’s uncle came upstairs to get us all to come down and managed to accidentally lock us in the room. Beth started screaming general panic-y things, I immediately got down huddled on the floor, for some reason, and Katty was screaming at him through the door that he’d locked it. We got out, and the three of us and Giulie and Anna in the next room ran hysterically down stairs. The five of us sat huddled on the sofa under one sheet for the next few hours, looking like a huddle of refugees. The house was also very, very flooded and so cleaning up was going on around us, while we shivered and passed around one cup of tea between us.

Somehow though, despite the torrential start and against all expectations, the storm clouds became a bright, blue sky and allowed us another lovely day at the beach! More swimming, reading, sunbathing, pizza, and this time “Fro-yo!” instead of ice-cream, good times, very good times. Then in the evening Katty, Beth, Giulie, Anna and I went out for dinner in the nearby town Fermo. Some crazy Medieval event was going on at the other end of the square, and every time a canon was fired we would all scream out of our skin, making a real spectacle of ourselves, but apart from that it was a really nice evening. We had prosecco and wine and I did the Italian thing of two main-courses, but they were two huge portions one after the other and I felt absolutely stuffed, but powered through, as it was all so delicious.

BEDA: August 3rd

2010-08-07T00:16:00.003+01:00

Something in my notepad from the plane:

10 Things to do on a plane, if you’re flying cheaply so there’s no TV sucking the time away:

1) People watch. There is no place better than a plane for this. You can watch people right from airport, to plane, to airport. There’s so many different types of people, of all ages, in such a close proximity, and this rarely happens. Everyone’s also so near to each other that eavesdropping is effortless.

2) Cloud watch. OK, so it doesn’t sound quite as intriguing as watching actual human beings, but it’s kind of hypnotic from a plane window. (According to my plane-self anyway, land-me can’t really remember the fuss if I’m honest.)

3) Nap in the strangest positions. Probably have your mouth hang open, drooling a little, despite the amount of strangers around. Try with all your might to avoid nestling on a stranger’s shoulder.

4) At some point during the journey, contemplate the bizarre-ness of what you’re actually doing. Flying in some metal ting way up in the sky. This quite simply just shouldn’t happen.

5) Following on from number four comes ‘The Fear’. That fleeting moment when you become ‘certain’ that this is going to be the one in a millionth plane that crashes dramatically into the sea.

6) Embark on chair politics. Can I lean it back? How far until it’s rude? Am I kicking the chair in front? How to stop the person behind kicking me? If I rest my bare feet on the back of their arm rest, can they see them? Smell them?

7) Notice and vaguely smile at the fact that chair numbers ‘CBA’ could be ‘Can’t Be Arsed’.

8) Guess confidently which country it is you’re above, even if you’re basing your guess on the colour tone of crop fields or the width of rivers, as if you’d know these things.

9) Write a list of 10 things to do on a plane.

10) In sheer boredom re-read the emergency instructions thing for the zillionth time.

Post-flight, Monday, was spent in the following ways:

A stunning drive from the airport to the house, right along the coast as the sun was setting, blaring Italian radio.

Fending off a demon-cat that was phased by nothing, including the chair it was on being toppled violently over, while sitting under the stars eating home cooked, delicious spaghetti bolognaise.

Lying on what became our favourite sofas.

Time for Tuesday, the actual day of this blog, rather than filling you in on yesterday. We spent Tuesday at the beach (as opposed to the next two days which we spent, at the beach). It was lovely: long conversations in the water, long conversations on the sand. Pizzas and ice-cream for lunch. Let me re-phrase: real, Italian pizzas and real, Italian ice-cream for lunch. We welcomed Anna, who arrived the day after us, and later we ate lemon risotto and chicken in breadcrumbs back at the house, for dinner.

BEDA: August 2nd

2010-08-02T01:50:00.003+01:00

Well I don't know the rules for this BEDA thing, but it's long gone midnight so it's August the 2nd in my mind. I'm in bed but I am not even close to getting to sleep: too many thoughts; too much stress; so I thought if I beda-ed I might transfer the angst out of my mind and on to the interwebs.

This evening we were at Katty's having late birthday celebrations for her. At the start of the evening my leg was inexplicably jittering like mad, and I was pretty tired, combining already to make me feel a little unsettled. Added to this, among the drinks around was arrack, known as 'Arrack Attack', brought from the friends who have just returned from Sri Lanka. If you looked around the party you could see a lot of arrack attacks going on. Anyway, so on top of these things, several stressful things kept happening. But bigger than any 'stressful drama' or broken globe (don't ask) was the fucked up experience that Speechley and Marion went through. It's not something I even want to write about because it's horrible and it makes me feel sick just trying to write about it, but the two of them left Katty's to walk home at around half ten, and on the way they were robbed at gunpoint. They are both OK and are both home now with their families. But of course shaken up. I can't even imagine to what extent. It's just horrible, and I'm so sorry that they went through something as traumatic as that, and words like 'horrible' and 'sorry' really, really don't cut it and that's all I can think to say on it, except just FUCK that type of thing, and the type of person who could do that.

Italy tomorrow, much needed.

XXXXX

BEDA: August 1st

2010-08-01T11:01:00.002+01:00

Should I or should I not do BEDA? Been toying with the idea for a good... few minutes. I have basically concluded that no, I shouldn’t do BEDA, because I’m really busy this month, and I know I’ll get grumpy and tired if I have to blog before bed every night, and I go away tomorrow till Friday, without any internet. But against all odds, I think I’m going to give it a try. The plan is to write in a notepad every day next week and then post a mega five posts on Friday, and then get into a daily routine after that.

So today: August 1^st. Well last night I went to celebrate Charlotte Speechley’s 18^th, along with her parents’ 10^th anniversary. Miles was DJing and he was, I have to say, fantastic. No song disappointed me. So I spent pretty much the entire time there dancing by the speakers. Except when cake appeared. But even then I found a way to combine the two and stuff my face on the dance floor. Recently, my biggest (and ashamedly, only) form of exercise has been dancing. But I stand by the fact it is an amazing workout. And there’s no other sport so enjoyable that I would do for like 4 hours straight.

Unfortunately, I got home to my hamster: dead. I got Tonks in August 2008. I’d wanted a hamster for ages, and so Hester, Amy and I went to the pet shop and they brought her for me as a late 16^th birthday present. I don’t know how old she was when I got her, but likely to have been at least one. Then I had her for exactly two years. She was my second pet, first female pet, and first pet that was mine, not a family one. She showed me that hamsters are hard work. We spent many an hour playing on my floor. Or me chasing her up and down the hallway in her wheel. And many a time when all I wanted to do was sleep, she would scurry loudly until I shouted at her. It was really weird having her dead in her cage last night. For some weird, irrational reason, I was very slow and even scared to touch her. When realistically, clearly it’s when she’s alive that you should be more wary. She was cold and smelt a little this morning and I put her in the cardboard box (which she once chewed a huge hole in the side of, typical Tonks) that I first brought her home in (which felt very circle of life-y) and then I dug a hole in the garden (very sweaty work, and dad had to take over the last bit cause grave digging is HARD yo) and we buried her. RIP Nymphadora Tonks!

My family are getting ready to go on holiday, they’re going to Croatia for 10 days. I woke up at 9 o’frigging’clock to them making three consecutive and noisy trips to the cupboard we keep suitcases in, right outside my door.

I cannot stop listening to gospel music on spotify. Just thought I’d put that out there because I’m sure it’ll feature in a lot of these posts, as I can’t imagine stopping anytime soon. I play through this particular gospel album every morning at the moment, very loudly. And because my room’s at the top of the house it blasts down it’s like I’m trying to project Heaven, and my family deffo think I’m a freak. I also have a top tip of the day, which is that gospel music is the perfect thing to accompany hamster funeral preparations.

Short and Sweet (Possibly because I have NOTHING TO TELL YOU)

2010-07-26T23:27:00.000+01:00

Though I am still enjoying myself, my latest antics do not make for the most bloggable of things. Recently my life has consisted of lots of film watching and lots of time indoors. Amy and Ella inherited their brother's house for four days while he and his housemates were at Secret Garden Party, as if us lot needed any more encouragement to be lazy! It was like a gift from God: "Here guys, if you're gonna laze around anyway, do it in style". The blinds permanently kept closed, two comfy sofas, a huge TV and a DVD collection which could not have been more girl-centric, right down to the fact it consisted of a Jennifer Aniston collection. The furthest I've travelled is to Portobello market on Saturday, and with my grandparents over yesterday and friends over today, I haven't actually left the house in two days. The worst part about that fact is not that it's true, it's that I hadn't actually realised it until I wrote that. Planning to go to the museums tomorrow, which will be FUN, providing we roll out of bed and actually go, and not just fun but the all important FREE. With Lauren back on Thursday, the Sri Lanka lot back on Friday, and then 18th birthday celebrations both Saturday and Sunday night, I'm not gonna know what's hit me. Then Monday I'm off for five days of Italian sun and I cannot wait.

Actresses that I think are way cool:

2010-07-24T02:08:00.000+01:00

Meaning I want to be them.

Also meaning I have spent large proportions of time YouTubing them.

(In no particular order, cause that would be too hard)

1) Reese Witherspoon

2) Kate Hudson

3) Rachel McAdams

4) Lea Michele

5) Jennifer Aniston

6) Kate Winslet

I'm sure as it's 2 in the morning, I'm forgetting some obvious loves but oh well.

Summer of OH Ten so far

2010-07-20T02:03:00.002+01:00

Oh, wow. It has been such a while since I blogged. Or maybe it hasn’t but I’ve just been doing so much that it feels like it has. To be fair, I did actually try and blog one time between this and my last post, but it got accidentally deleted and I had to go out so couldn’t rewrite it, and I also didn’t have the patience or will.

I am having an amazing summer. I should be working, I need to be making money, but the thing is this is the last time I get to be with some of my friends before lots of them go to university or other such places, and I’m having the biggest blast right now that I just don’t want to sacrifice this time or miss anything.

I can’t fill you in on everything, because it would be both impossible (my memory is shit) and boring, but I’ll just write, and see what I feel like talking about.

I do remember that my last post was the night before Wireless so that seems like a logical starting point. I went to 02 Wireless in Hyde Park three Sundays ago now, with a nice mix of people: Hester, Beth, Speechley, Alice Jackson, Dorsa, Christina, Austin and Mizan and it was really good. I’ll do short reviews artist-for-artist, though it would have been much smarter if I wasn’t writing this three weeks late with such a hazy memory.

Bluey Robinson: Bluey Robinson was the first to play on the main stage, but I’d never heard of him before. We watched him because Dorsa said he was good, and because Mr. Hudson was on after. And I’m so glad we did. First off, he has the most lovable and adorable face in the world. On cyber-stalking him when I got home, I found that part of his campaign to fame involved him singing on London tubes, the New York subway and the Paris metro, trying to make commuters break into a smile (extremely difficult on the tube, but he did it!). Check him out, check out those videos on YouTube, and check out his single I Know, which I love and have listened to countless times since.

Mr. Hudson: Poor Mr. Hudson was on crutches, and we had to run off for J. Cole before his set finished, so we didn’t get to hear Supernova. I’d listened to his album Straight No Chaser a couple of times before luckily, so I knew some of the songs and could sing along, like to Stiff Upper Lip which I like. Perhaps it was because we were quite far back, but the crowd seemed a little subdued and bored while Mr. Hudson was playing, though he wasn’t doing a bad job. In fact, the crowd were so distracted that bottle throwing broke out and OUCH to a plastic bottle whacking you after flying at full speed through the air.

J. Cole: I am a fan of J. Cole, and Dorsa and Christina are MEGAFANS of J. Cole, so the three of us sped off to watch him in the Pepsi tent. When I say sped off, we were running like ninjas, jumping tent poles, dodging crowds, ducking barriers, and then heaving through the sweaty and packed tent till we had an excellent spot near the front. For those who don’t know, J. Cole is the very good looking kind of protégé to Jay-Z. He was the first to be signed to Jay-Z’s label Roc Nation and is pretty much the next hip-hop megastar. Although, so sweetly he seemed so overwhelmed by the support he had, saying he’d expected about five UK fans to have known the words.

Chipmunk: We didn’t actually watch Chip-diddy-Chip properly. There were a few people we kind of wanted to see in the other tent, like Wiley, Roll Deep and Professor Green, but I’d seen Wiley before and we figured Professor Green might come on with Lily Allen. Plus, we were excited about headliners Lily and Jay in the evening above all else, so we thought we’d prioritise that and get a good spot at the main stage. So Chipmunk was entertaining, from afar, and I sang and danced from our spot in the grass.

Slash: Considering the group of people I was with and their typical music tastes, it is absolutely hilarious that we watched Slash, and were so near the front. We did it to be near for the final two, and it was a smart move I must say. But actually, I really enjoyed head-banging along to this, or at least the last four songs that we were there for. Plus, no matter the crowd, Guns N’ Roses songs like Paradise City and Sweet Child O’ Mine can get everyone singing (or screaming) along, be in voluntarily or involuntarily. Rock anthems are the best for that spirit.

Friendly Fires: I was mocked on the day as being the world’s greatest Friendly Fires fan (simply because I knew who they were). But this is definitely not the case, a few of their songs are ‘alright’ in my opinion, at least for listening to at home occasionally. But live, they were a waste of time, and all their songs are similar and urgh, we were just bored.

Lily Allen: NOW, it got good. I don’t care that you, reader, may not be a fan. All I have is love for Lily Allen. I sang every word to every song and I would swear to the fact that we had eye contact and she smiled at me... One moment I liked was when she introduced Back To The Start, which if you know her music you’d know is a song about her past bad relationship with her sister, and her sister was there at the show and the camera went on her and I just found it amusingly awkward.

Jay-Z: Before he came on, the crowd did the whole surging forward thing, and it became unbearable, more so then I’ve ever experienced before. We were so near the front that the squeezing was immense, you literally could not breathe for periods of time, and people were bursting into tears/getting their hair caught and tugged/fainting, all over the place and proceeding to get themselves lifted over the front barrier and out of there. Through the pushing, I found it impossible to stick with anyone, so found myself watching Jay-Z on a spot of my own, though occasionally being able to see friends scattered around the place. It didn’t matter though cause I was so into the set. At one point, just like at The Killers at Reading, our whole portion of the crowd toppled over on top of each other. I lay on the floor with heaps of people fallen on top and around me, thinking it was inevitable that I’d just be killed there and then so there was no point in moving. Haha, and I remember seeing Beth’s face squashed through the heap of people, neither of us able to move, an actually hilarious image. Anyway, I did get up, and I loved the show. Predictably, everything about this set was epic. At one point, when we thought it was all over except for perhaps one last song (we were screaming for Encore), he announced that he was going to do an extra 26 minutes! What a ledge. He did it all, from Hard Knock Life, to 99 Problems, to Dirt Off Your Shoulders to Empire State of Mind with a lit up New York backdrop to Young Forever. A guy next to me was having a literal seizure, as emotional as Double Rainbow guy, hands on head just repeating “This is too much! This is too awesome! OH MY GAWWWWWWWD THIS IS TOO AWESOME!”.

I love the fact that I’ve written over one thousand words and I’ve described one day since my last post.

The Monday to Friday of the next week I genuinely can’t remember what I did, except for about four things, which are:

Going to the cinema on Orange Wednesday to see the French comedy Heartbreaker after some (lots of) food and drinks and football at Wetherspoons

An evening at Beth’s, eating her renowned pasta bake which is all we’ll probably live off in Paris

An OC Day with Hester, Amy and Charlotte in which we covered some pretty emotional and some pretty classic numbers (and ate brownies)

An evening at The Island which carried on in Amy’s garden with wine and a sharpie and then carried on into an all night video recording fest, good times

One big memory from the couple of weeks since then was Charlotte’s 18^th,joint with her brother Jack’s 21^st, celebrated at their house one great Saturday night. If I had to pick one image from that evening it would be standing in a circle in the kitchen with Charl, Beth, Amy, Alice, Grace and Speechley, stamping our feet, clicking our fingers and absolutely belting out Like a Prayer like we were performing some sort of exorcism. My family were there too, and we all danced and sang in the living room for hours upon hours, although the fam didn’t stay quite as long as my leaving time of sometime after half 3. Somehow, I got up the following morning in order to attend Saoirse’s lovely birthday picnic in Green Park, it was good to see lots of that lot again, and in particular I caught up lots with Emily. Then for that evening it was the World Cup final, and the boys invited me along to join them all for a BBQ at Misha’s to watch the game, which was nice of them. It was really good to see all of them too, as I think I hadn’t seen the guys since Graduation. It was a typical man’s night of meat and football (stereotypes can be true, and funny to observe) and when the football wasn’t on, they played Fifa on the playstation, of course. This is such an unbloggable anecdote, because I’ve told like everyone I’ve seen since and no-one has really cared, but everytime I think of it I die of laughter, so I feel like it should be blog worthy! Basics, Sohail was moving a lamp off a table, and it was lit because it was touch sensitive, and then he held the lit up lamp up above his head and said ‘I’ve had a great idea!’. Gettit?! Gettit?! A light bulb moment. I literally do not have a clue why that was/is so funny to me. I think it’s because I’d never have thought of doing that.

Anyway there’s no rest for the wicked because the next evening was Will’s 18^th. We had pre-drinks with a nice bunch at Amy’s, where we discussed which storylines in films make us cry and which don't, and then went to the The Masons Arms on Harrow Road for the celebrations, where for some reason I introduced myself and started a conversation with every single person there that I didn’t know. When the bar stopped serving we decided the night was still young and ended up where else but dog shit park! And then, after that night, did I allow myself to recover for a week? Hail no! Charlotte’s actual birthday was the following day, and though no alcohol was consumed that evening, we stayed awake chatting till approaching 5AM. We then stayed at her house, still chatting, until past 3PM the following afternoon (oh, summer!) and the next morning, the three of us, Amy, Charlotte and I, were heading off to Bournemouth, which deserves a new paragraph.

Let me set a scene. Our train was at 10:05 AM on Thursday. We had arranged to meet at Willesden Station, about a 13 minute walk from my house, at 9 AM. I had set an alarm for 8 AM, allowing plenty of time to eat, get dressed, finish packing and even paint my nails! In fact, as I am paranoid as well as sleepy in the mornings, I had set an alarm for 8, five past 8 and ten past 8, AND quarter past 8, just in case. But still, alas, somehow, I failed. I awoke on Thursday to the sound of my phone ringing, rather than my alarm. I glanced at the clock at it is 9:05. It is one of those times when you actually turn into a cartoon and LEAP or SPRING out of bed. 55 minutes from waking up to catch a train, seemed absolutely impossible. You have a moment of gaping at the clock, wondering how this could be, whether your life is now ruined, if your friends will ever talk to you again, if there’s time to even try to make it, and again, how could this be. I was too startled to even answer the phone. Anyway, stage two, when the gaping comes to an end, is the snapping into action. I put on clothes, chucked my wash bag into my pre-packed (thank GOD!) bag, I think then rang Amy though my memory of it all is a blur, legged it down the stairs, asked dad for a lift, swore a lot when he replied that he didn’t have the car and then just ran out the house, teeth unbrushed, hair unbrushed, face unwashed, sleep in my eyes and dressed in the summeriest, skimpiest of clothes on a cold morning. I remember it was 9:09 when I left the house – four minutes after waking up. I was wearing flip-flops, very unsuitable shoes to be late in as you can hardly run, but after making a fool of myself dashing and scarpering up the highroad I made it to Willesden at around 9:20 and then we managed to get the tube, get to Waterloo, and THANK THE ALMIGHTY GOD ABOVE, make the train. I think I’m maybe kind of basically pretty much a ninja, no big deal.

Bournemouth was really, really fun. On arriving we headed to the beach, despite the windiness and lack of any real heat; just the way a British trip to the seaside should be then! We hadn’t really expected to do much more than paddling, but the sea was so fun and the waves so big that we went fully in and under. I pretty much turn into a four year old if you take me to the seaside. I race along the sand and jump and squeal and am in some ultimate element. After a few hours at the beach we went off to find our B&B. It was music themed, which was really cool, every spare bit of wall or surface was filled with records, guitars and signed photos and tour posters. In our room, we turn into old people for remainder of the afternoon. We each got into our beds, drank tea and coffee, and watched TV. We watched TV for a long time. We watched TV from the lunchtime episode of Come Dine With Me, through Countdown, some CBBC shows, The Weakest Link, the News, The One Show, right until the end of Eastenders. It was an epic TV marathon. After Eastenders we finally drew ourselves out of bed and transformed from oldies into teens by getting ready to go out. We hadn’t eaten all day (a real shocker for us! But we were broke and saving it for the evening) so first we went for fish and chips by the beach. After satisfying our bellies we headed to what looked like the fun-filled vibrant cocktail bar of Bournemouth. When we walked in, we stood there a little taken aback because the place was virtually empty. But we ordered cocktails all the same and got a table. Some young, French people came in, followed soon after by a large crowd of old people, I’m not kidding. Eventually, with suitably blue tongues, we moved on. We got soaked in the process, as the rain and the wind were out with a vengence, and after one failed move where we reached a bar just as dead as the first, we found ourselves a really packed and noisy goldmine of a bar. There, we had more drinks and got into a long and deep conversation which felt like twenty minutes but it turned out it was for hours because suddenly the bar was closing and it was past midnight. We weren't ready yet to retire for the night and so asked these people first whether there were any open off-licenses around, there were not, in fact the idea of an off-license being open past 12 seemed to amuse them a lot. We informed them that this would not be the case in London. Anyway, they helpfully recommended we walk over the hill towards town, where pubs and clubs would be open, and we took their advice, walked over the hill, and barged into the first bar we saw. It was one of those pubs with a dance floor with a DJ, and so without saying hello to anybody, without ordering a drink, simply intent on dancing, the three of us marched presumptuously to the dance floor and turned into crazy people. We danced as though it were our private living room and nobody could see us, and we sang, belted, as though nobody around would have ears. Eventually, the DJ got to know the songs we liked and seemed to play to entertain us, as we were the only three dancing and were having what looked like the absolute time of our lives strutting around the dance floor. Eventually, we got drinks, made friends, and got the dance floor filled up, but nothing is funnier than the image of when we first got to that bar and walked in like we owned the place and ran ting, as we genuinely seemed to think we did, because, as we kept on informing everyone, we were from London, that big place. Our motto of the trip was 'No one knows us here!' - and that should say it all.

Even on getting back from Bournemouth I couldn’t dump my bags and kick back with the TV because I’d had an offer from my cousin Alix to come along and meet her ‘new man’ along with all her other friends. The reason this offer could not be turned down is that her ‘new man’ is a rising star, he's in the new TV show Pretty Little Liars, which I happen to watch and love. The show isn’t out in the UK, only America, so I’m pretty sure my friends and I were the only ones out of everyone who watched it, which sounds slightly stalker-ish of us. In fact, we’d seen the most recent episode, which even he hadn’t seen it yet! But anyway, he was lovely, he spoke to all of her friends AND he brought everyone champagne! WAY beyond the call of duty! Alix was glowing with happiness at just the mention of his name too, which made me very happy. It was also a really fun night as the pub had a dance floor and amazingly cool DJ which we couldn’t resist. Us youngers (my cousin and her friends are all in their twenties) were even branded with the nickname ‘Duracell’ because we never tired. The DJ was even cool enough to pull off going from Bob Marley to ending the night on My Name is frigging Tallulah – how legendary is that?!

Yesterday, Sunday, was Katie’s birthday and the five of us spent the afternoon with my uncle, aunty, two cousins and their au pair. We had a scrumptious BBQ and played this board game Lyric. Us kids (though both Dom and I technically aren’t in this category anymore!) also had a good discussion about our family and joked about who we would kick out if we had to, or which celebrity we would add in, and who would win in fights between two family members, and the future, when we’re the adults and we have kids, and, most importantly and earnestly of all, how we want our family to be the mafia. My cousins are really growing up, which is weird as they’re the ‘youngest two’ in that side of the fam. Can’t believe especially that Francis is 14, I still think of him as way younger and then I’m like, wait, I remember what 14’s like: not that young!

I am close to nocturnal now, it seems to be my natural state and now that there’s no good reason not to, I let my sleep pattern do whatever. Today, when I eventually did wake up, and then got up, which is a whole different story, I went to spend the afternoon in the park. Every summer of my secondary school life I spent a large chunk of the time I was in London in Queens Park, it’s where we used to go day after day. But today was the first day I’ve gone there this whole summer, which I find shocking! Lots of familiar faces around and we came across Ben, Christina and Anthony and joined them. All three of them are so funny and lovely, was nice to see them today. I keep thinking that at the moment when I spend any time with anyone, ‘So glad I got to see them this summer’ and ‘They’re so nice, I’ll miss them’.

One thing I find kind of unexpected about this summer is that I envisioned myself spending the majority of my time as a mindless slob, watching SO much TV and seeing all the programmes I ever wanted to watch and thinking of nothing even bordering remotely intelligent. But I’ve actually found that I’m thinking and looking up stuff all the time, and I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading, at least compared to what I usually get to do. First I finished Dara O’Briain’s book which I’ve been trying to read since Christmas but all these smelly books I had to read for smelly A-levels kept getting in the way. It was just a light read about his experiences and anecdotes from touring the country, but I enjoyed it and wanted to finally finish it. Once that was done, I read The Catcher in the Rye, possibly, as many people tell me, about four years too late. I enjoyed it, I really did. (Ha see what I did there?) I mean it wasn’t my favourite book and I don’t think it’s changed my life, but as I was reading it I did find myself starting to think the way Holden thinks, and I was really into it, perhaps helped by the fact I read it in just two or three intense sittings. In Bournemouth I started The Handmaid’s Tale, I’m not at all far in but it is soooo my kind of book, so I’m pretty sure I’ll love it and cannot wait to find out what happens. I’ve also spent the last few days, after watching Rent - one of my FAVOURITE FILMS EVER with my family because I insisted they see it (and then I sat through it using all the strength I had in me not to sing too loudly along), reading up on HIV and AIDs because I find it so, so interesting. As somebody born in 1992, you forget that your parents’ generation didn’t grow up with HIV existing (or being known to exist, at least) and that at the year of my birth it was still very untackled by even the developed countries. I just find it all mind-blowing, how much it spread, how many people caught it, the state of fear people were in. I read lots about the science of it and lots about the history of it, and theories over the first human contaminations.

My general point though, is that I love that I can read about random, interesting things that take my fancy rather than sticking to some syllabus on a specific subject.

I can’t believe how long this has turned out to be, so I think it is high time I conclude this joint. I’ll just conclude by saying that despite now being so broke and despite missing my friends who are currently travelling a whole lot, I am loving the summer of 2010. This summer being so good is probably going to make leaving everything and everyone a whole lot worse though.

"Your lipstick stains, on the front lobe of my left-side brains"

2010-07-04T00:15:00.001+01:00

Not sure I actually remember how to write a blog, I've not had the chance in ages. Unfortunately this can't even be the time that I fully compensate for that, because I have got to get some sleep soon, but I felt like posting something at least. Just not quite sure where to start or what to pick yet.

It's Saturday night right now, although days of the week are fast becoming irrelevant to me. I've been free for just over a week now, ever since last Friday at around 11AM... and it has been a brilliant week.

I think the last time I wrote a proper blog I was only half way through exams, with two down and two to go, and it feels weird and distant to go back to that time to describe it, but things only got harder after that point. By the end, A-levels were close to the death of me. I felt so ill, so drained, so exhausted, so zombie-esque. Miles worse than I've ever felt before in my life, I thought they would never end and I genuinely felt that if I'd had to go on even just one day further I would keel over.

I've crammed in a lot between last Friday and now. Two of my highlights have to be the clubbing on my first night of freedom, up until the point that everything went wrong with the losing of people's stuff that is, but all that sorted now so pfft, and an afternoon spent on the heath: swimming, eating, debating, singing, animal-watching (/discovering!) and relaxing. But other good times include the mass watching of the Doctor Who finale with some friends of Dom's and a friend of Katie's, followed by the eating of a mass order of chicken and chips - that's two family buckets we got that night (oh yeaah!); a summery lunch with Charlotte; an evening at the pub; an evening at the Lexi seeing a streamed, live performance of London Assurance at The National; two sessions of retail therapy, one with my aunty which also included a delicious deli picnic in Kensington; an evening at a scrumpcious Greek restaurant in Notting Hill; a morning of table-tennis and the celebrating of other friends' freedom; a fairy-light-lit evening of the early celebrating of Katty's birthday and wishing her farewell on her travels; a picnic with my history class and history teachers complete with four bottles of cava; a breakfast at Jacks cafe; many football matches, the England game being watched, remarkably, by all five members of the fam, and, of course, graduating, a night which included winning the history prize (what!), watching my brother deliver a speech, and fun post-graduation celebrations. Really, the only bad things I can take from this week are the spending of too much money, losing four besties to a month to the USA or Sri Lanka, England's football performance, and the possibility that I may now qualify as an alcoholic.

I wish I had the time to tell so many of the anecdotes from the events of that paragraph. I barely scratched the surface of the enjoyment I've been having. I am so, so relaxed and mellow which is the best thing. Can't bring myself to care about anything. Wireless tomorrow and I am excited, so now I will sleep! X

Song: Hey, Soul Sister by Train & Corona and Lime by Shwayze

Ten Annoyances:

2010-06-21T00:32:00.003+01:00

I wouldn’t say I’m someone with a great deal of pet peeves, I’m not irritated by most of the ones that popped up when I googled it. In fact, I found that most of the things people listed were things I do myself: I blow bubbles in a drink through a straw; I refer to sport teams I support as ‘we...’. So I’m sorry to any irritable people that know me, I must be pretty annoying for you! Anyway, here are 10 things that do infuriate me:

1) Not being able to find something at home. I go mental. After a searching session every part of my room is scattered in hopeless heaps on the floor. Still, at least sometimes you find what you’re looking for. The worst part is when you don’t, and you’ve spent genuine hours upon hours searching and your room is a warzone and it's all for nothing

2) Cryptic statuses or tweets. I’m a curious (nosy) person and I hate the bait being waved but not knowing what it’s about

3) When you order something on the menu and then they don’t have any more of it

4) Receipt and change at the same time

5) People who get personally offended in the context of a debate and make it too awkward for you to force on with your point

6) Hangers

7) Umbrellas

8) When a song is played on the radio and they don’t say who it’s by. Or just not being able to place a song, or an actor, or anything, and that frustration mounting up.

9) Finding out something you would have really wanted to watch is on but it's started and you only just saw it was on but don’t want to have missed the beginning

10) Phrases like ‘You wouldn’t understand’ or 'Let's just drop it'

The infernal, tormenting, diabolical anguish that is exam time.

2010-06-19T13:31:00.005+01:00

You know what, I'm bored of the not blogging. I'm going hot turkey. Though I'm lacking the energy for this to be a long post. Today is my brother's 21st, so happy birthday to him, and on to Vegas he may go. And I may as well make the paragraph 'Dom themed' by announcing (though I'm sure every reader already knows..) that he got a god-damn FIRST in his degree! Wow. On the other hand, I am possibly prouder of the fact that he actually WATCHED the England match last night, and in a PUB. That is madness. I got him an engraved pint glass for his birthday, it managed to arrive about five minutes before the morning-present-giving, but it's a pretty cool present if I do say so myself...

Exams. English and history are finito incognito. Except not incognito, as that doesn't make any sense. English was a hard exam, and most frustrating of all it allowed for me to bring in next to nothing of my wider reading or revision, which is an aggravating waste. History the following day went better and I was relatively positive about the exam, or half of it at least. I have two left - French on Thursday and Economics on Friday. I am in a real tizzle over those two. I haven't really made the transition yet between revising for English and History to revising for French and Economics; I have so much to learn and revise and so little steam left in me to do it. I am terrified that I just won't manage to learn it all. And to make bad matters worse, I seem to have accidently found myself on a mid-exam-bender over the past few days. The idea that I've just had three evenings out in a row riddles me with guilt, despite the fun-ness of the eves. Pizza Express tonight for Dom is justified however, by being a birthday, and by the involvement of doughballs. Then I need to spend Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday revising like a madman. I really hope I can! It is the Long Walk to Freedom. OK no, it is not okay to compare my exams to Mandela's 27 years in prison and fight for equality. So um, it's just a stroll to freedom or something, but a bit of a sweat-inducing stroll.

Final quick thing - I now have a spotify, but it's not connected to facebook. If you're on spotify too and want to find me search spotify:user:tashaself into the spotify search bar. And comment with your username so I can add you. Thanks, much appreciated, I'm addicted to the thing.

10 Films I’ve never seen that I really, really should have and it’s embarrassing to admit I haven’t:

2010-06-19T12:45:00.003+01:00

1) The Godfather Trilogy

2) It’s a Wonderful Life

3) Singin’ in the Rain

4) My Fair Lady

5) Brief Encounter

6) Blade Runner

7) Jaws

8) Gladiator

9) A Clockwork Orange

10) Back To The Future

I will get to work on amending this in the summer